Thankfully You Can’t Hear Me Judging You

Some behaviors warrant questions—things you see and immediately think, what on earth is happening here?
Clearly, this is not how a well-adjusted person behaves.

I thought it might be fun to compile a list of people who exhibit some of these behaviors.

And if you find yourself guilty of one or more of them? I’m warning you—we’re all silently judging you.

The Savage Ketchup User

One of them is putting ketchup directly on french fries. I don’t mean beside the fries. I mean poured right on top, like some kind of condiment crime scene. It’s terrible that people do this, and it immediately makes me question their judgment. (This applies to any condiment usage.)

The ketchup gets all over your fingers, and then you’re forced into a constant moral dilemma: do you lick them clean, or wipe them on a napkin every twenty seconds? Either way, it’s gross. There is no dignified outcome here.

This is a practice that should have been abandoned by society long ago.

The Personal Space Thief

Ugh, this one makes me so uncomfortable. We all know someone who needs to get as close as possible when they speak to you. I’m not talking about someone who leans in briefly to lower their voice—that’s fine. I can live with that.

But some people take two steps forward for every step I take back. Completely not fine with that. At some point, it starts to feel less like a conversation and more like a power struggle.

At that point, I start wondering if personal space is optional.

The Speakerphone Menace

This behavior should absolutely be illegal. I don’t want to hear your conversation while I shop. Not only that, but the person you’re speaking to almost always has the vocal equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard.

People who commit this offense often hold their phone flat in the palm of their hand, inches from their face.

Wouldn’t it be nice to just casually walk by and “accidentally” knock the phone right out of their hand? So satisfying to—umm, imagine this…

The Single Bite Abandoner

Seriously, people—are you five years old? No? Then stop. Just stop.

This seems to happen most often with donuts. People take one bite and then put it back in the box. That is just gross. Be like everyone else and discreetly wrap the donut in a napkin while pretending to eat it… and then throw it in the trash.

For an added bonus, you can pretend you ate the first donut while reaching for a second one.

The Feral Clothing Folder

We all know someone who folds laundry like a maniac…
You know the type—whose folded and unfolded laundry looks exactly the same.

Just thinking about this makes me cringe.
Stop judging me—I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

The Applause Passenger

Why do people clap when their plane lands? I can understand the applause if your plane slides onto a runway covered in foam, but other than a precarious, white-knuckled flight or landing? It’s weird, and it’s unlikely that the pilot can hear the applause. And also, it’s weird.

This also applies to movie theaters. I know for a fact the actors can’t hear you. And again, it’s weird.

The Die-Hard Denim Fashionista

Everyone has fallen asleep in their day clothes at least once. It happens. But there are people who wear jeans to bed. Why?

Jeans can become uncomfortable by the end of the day, so who wants to sleep in them? I guess the answer is… those people.

The Overt Deodorant Tester

This is exactly why I only buy deodorant in two-packs. They come wrapped in plastic, and there’s no chance someone has “tested” it and put it back. The thought of opening a deodorant I just bought and finding a hair grosses me out.

So please. Please don’t be this person.

The Waiting Room YouTube Fan

We’ve all gone to an appointment where, in the waiting room, some deeply self-centered person is watching a video (or playing a game with the sound on). Honestly, if I wanted to listen to that kind of noise, I’d watch a video or play a game with earbuds.

So… no. Just don’t do this.

Maybe waiting rooms should hand out earbuds—or just make these people leave.

This last one can be especially annoying, and it’s one that I am guilty of so I’m apologizing in advance.

The Grocery Cart Renegade

It can be extremely annoying when someone leaves their cart in the middle of an aisle and just walks away. I do this all the time. Something catches my eye, I need to look at it closer, and I forget that other people are also shopping.

If I hear my husband sigh while we’re shopping, nine times out of ten it’s because I’ve left the cart in someone’s way.

I’m beginning to think I need a keeper—someone to follow me around the store and move my cart when it’s in the way.

So, what are some of the behaviors you see unbalanced people exhibiting? And which ones are you guilty of?

Feel free to comment. I promise I won’t tell anyone.

⭐ Like or share if you’re guilty of at least one of these behaviors (no judgment… okay, maybe a little).

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