The Remote’s in the Toaster, But I’m Calling It Progress

Adulting is weird, especially at the age of 50.
There are days when I think I have life all figured out—that I have all the wisdom in the world.

The next day? I realize I’ve put the TV remote in the fridge. Again!

We like to think age and wisdom go together, but I think it’s more accurate to say that experience and wisdom go together.

We gain wisdom through experience… or more likely, through the experience of making mistakes.

When I was a kid, I thought my parents had it all figured out. They seemed to have life completely under control. I keep waiting for that moment to happen for me.
Spoiler alert: it isn’t coming.

I don’t have all my ducks in a row. Honestly, my ducks aren’t even capable of standing in a line. In fact, I’m not sure half of them even know what a line is.

Looking back, I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t have life all figured out either. They were probably just winging it—and honestly, they still might be.

I believe laughter makes our failings at life a little easier to handle. And I am definitely someone who shares my failings with others, especially when they’re ridiculous or funny.

So, here are a few of the life lessons I’ve learned the hard way:

• Always put the toilet lid down. If you don’t, anything and everything that can fall in, will fall in—including your toothbrush.
• There’s no “popping into Target” really quickly for one thing. It will cost you at least an hour and about $100.
• “You’ll understand when you’re older” is a lie. You still won’t understand, but you also won’t care anymore.
• There is no “right time” to do things. No matter how well you plan, life will absolutely get in the way.
• It doesn’t matter if you’re 5 or 50—your mother will still ask if you need to pee before you leave the house.
• If you can’t remember why you walked into a room, don’t stress about it. You probably weren’t going to find what you needed anyway.
• Never hide important things in a “safe space.” The safe space is guaranteed to be so safe that you’ll never find the item again.
• You can love your kids dearly and still not want to hear about the YouTube video on paint drying they just watched.
• There are two types of adults: those who meal plan, and those who forget dinner is a nightly occurrence.
• You’ll write 2,000-word blog posts in your head at 3 a.m., but you’ll never remember any of them when you sit down at your computer.

Although I’m not sure if I’m really older and wiser… I mean, older yes, but wiser? The jury is still out on that one. But I’m not sure it really matters. Is older and wiser better than older and funny with ridiculous real-life experiences? It certainly seems less fun.

But I’ve got to go. The Find Me app on my phone just located the AirTag attached to my TV remote. And guess what? It’s in the toaster oven this time. I’m considering that progress.

If this post made you smile, nod in agreement, or at least feel a little less alone in the weirdness of adulting, please like, share, and subscribe. And if you’ve ever had your own “remote in the fridge” moment, tell me about it in the comments—I love hearing that I’m not alone in the nonsense!
Your support helps this little corner of the internet grow—and reminds me that maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one who’s put the TV remote in the fridge.